As of July this year, according to the National Social Service of Ukraine, 430 cases of abduction of children of Ukrainians abroad were recorded. The leader is Germany, where 122 children were taken from their parents. It is followed by Poland with 39 cases, Norway and Spain with 20 children each. Later, 65 children were returned to their parents. But…
Children from Ukrainians (and not only from Ukrainians) are taken away by social services due to improper performance of parental duties. Every mother heard about it while still living in Ukraine. However, Europe has a slightly different understanding of this term. For example, raising your voice at a child, any physical rough contact to calm them down, or leaving a child unattended are all reasons to take them to a “safe place”. And the inhabitants of Europe react instantly when they see that the parents are rude to the child. In Ukraine, for the most part, this is ignored by society.
Leaving a child unattended — there are nuances here. Because in the EU countries, they look at the age until which a child should be under constant supervision in different ways. In France and Britain, it is 12 years, and in Poland – only 7. Many Ukrainians simply do not know about these rules and get into trouble.
There are also more serious cases. In Poland, the trial of a Ukrainian woman who took care of ten children was shocking recently. She was accused of ill-treatment, beatings and even sexual exploitation. But experts say that such serious crimes are rather an exception.
Often, problems arise due to cultural differences. In Ukraine, parents may not pay attention to pushing a child, and in Europe it is already a reason to call social services.
For example, the Ukrainian embassy in Germany warns: any “corporal punishment, infliction of psychological trauma and other treatment of children that degrades human dignity” is prohibited.
Even a loud scream from the apartment or a long child’s cry can cause a visit by social workers.
In Norway, by the way, Barnevern monitors parental responsibilities. Everything is serious and strict. Ukrainians who still live together in a refugee camp and do not have their own home are being closely monitored. Lyudmila M., who received temporary protection in Norway, personally saw several such cases.
“Even if it is a small hotel, the mother cannot go to watch TV in the common room, and leave the child in the room with cartoons.”
And such cases are reported to social services not by Norwegians, but mostly by Ukrainians…
The reason for removing a child can even be a frequent visit to the hospital when the child cuts a finger or hits himself. This shows that the mother is not able to look after her.
“The process of returning the child to the family took 7 months,” Lyudmila M. from Norway shares one of the cases of child removal.
Read more: “How much do you need to earn in Germany to live without social assistance?”
One more thing: compulsory school attendance. Skipping classes without a good reason can lead to serious problems.
Ninel Omelyanenko, a psychotherapist and volunteer at a refugee center in Geneva, recalls how a Ukrainian woman received an official warning from the local social service and an order to undergo a drug test because her child had not attended school for 15 days.
The child had chickenpox, it is impossible to make an appointment with a doctor, the mother cured the child at home. All this time, she received letters from the school and social services, which she translated incorrectly. And then the social services came to her home, shouting in French. The woman was scared and didn’t open the door, so they called the police because the mother seemed to be holding the child by force.
Experts emphasize: in Europe, the interests of the child always come first. If in Ukraine they can still “consider” how to help, then here they act instantly.